It's not falling apart - it's coming together

When change comes knocking. We can no longer gaslight ourselves out of our own reality.

I used to be someone who hated change. I’d stay in jobs I hated, in relationships that didn’t serve me, or in environments that were slowly diluting my sparkle, just to maintain the status quo.

The fear of the unknown was greater than the discomfort of staying where I was.

I wasn’t a coward …. (or was I?)… because it was often much harder and took more resilience and strength to stay in those places, than to move out of it. And eventually I did. When the pain of staying the same outgrew the pain of change.

Change is great when we choose it. Even then, it can be scary. Change is harder when it’s foisted upon us. Sometimes, we give the Universe a nudge that we’re ready for change. We start becoming dissatisfied with where we’re at. We know there is so much more that’s available to us, and the things we could let slide or pretend not to see, becomes the neon flashing elephant in the room: we can no longer gaslight ourselves out of our own reality.

As many of you know, I’m an International Homeopath with large international client base. Before I started working full time in my business, I had a part-time Admin job (a few hours per month), that I did to help boost my adventure fund.

For despite the younger me hating change, the more mature, wiser me, embraced it and sought it out. I purchased a camper van and went off solo-adventuring, discovering festivals at the age of 50 and constantly getting out of my comfort zone to fully experience this thing called life!!

But I digress.

Back to the Admin job. As my Homeopathy client base grew, I continued to do the part time Admin job, (for my “play” money), but I was doing it more and more begrudgingly. I’d complain to my nearest and dearest about it, roll my eyes when I was requested to do something, and really treated it like an inconvenience all round.

I voiced out loud several times: “I’d love to no longer be doing this job.”

Well, when we ask, the Universe provides! After a particularly annoying week with that job, I sent an email establishing some boundaries. For while I was doing it begrudgingly, I was also not being valued for the work and contributions I was making, so it was a bit of a catch 22.

Lo and behold, the option were given that I could step aside. At first, I was indignant.

Then I thought, actually, fair enough. I had been lazy and not as invested in that role as I should’ve been, I did do all that needed to be done, but my heart wasn’t in it. Not like it was with my Homeopathy, which I absolutely love.

I thought about the loss of my “play” income. Instead of being filled with anxiety or trepidation at the thought that it would no longer be there, I felt a little bubble of excitement. I saw that the time I used to spend doing that job, I could now invest in things that I wanted to do. In things that would increase my earnings. I felt at peace, content and supported by the Universe.